I really hate migraines.

Cause? On this round? Most likely stress. All in all, I got my stress out, but I was not a happy camper last night. Sadly FI took the brunt of my frustrations with said migraine and eventually helped me work through the stress.

Result? No post, which really annoys me, because I have so much to say. I know I shouldn't be annoyed my it. It's one of my outlets, and not being in front of a computer on a more regular basis, has really affected that part of my life. Not to mention the fact that I don't really get to interact more with you lot, virtually or in person.

So yeah.

So to some news related to my Mom's return and wedding related things. She returned with two veils, lent to me by childhood friend (a daughter of my Mom's best friend). They are perfect!

My Aunt made us these:


Yep, those are glass markers to differentiate those glasses who will have leaded and unleaded bubbly. She made 50 of each. By hand. They are more labor intensive than I expected them to be, as they are beaded with tiny beads and have that center one perfectly fitted on hand adjusted wire. I'm floored. And what's perfect, is that they are simultaneously venue colors, our invite colors, and yes, you guessed it, Gryffindor and Slytherin colors. What's nicer, is they will serve as a small favor, one less cost that I won't have to worry about:)

Lastly, my Mom has possession of our wedding bands. She has told us that we don't get to see them till our wedding day. o.0 Wow. My Mom's never been like that and we're both more excited about it all now.

In all things being discussed, I was also informed by FI that his oldest aunt has offered her home to host any wedding shower that might be thrown in my favor. (No, this isn't a hint. I'm just mentioning it here, as his Aunt's kindness has always been a refreshing difference from what I've otherwise experienced.)

So there you have it, a tiny post on things and how they stand right now. I still want to make my more massive post later on:)

FI and I are doing our best to be frugal and traditional and geeky. So several component wedding invitation is being trimmed down to the essentials:

- Announcement (one sided)
- Invite with RSVP (by phone/email) and directions on reverse.
No mail in RSVPs, no separate mailed invites for the ceremony/reception, no directions card. The printer will get them back to us in about a weeks time after they are submitted.
We used artwork taken from the bridal suite from our venue, an 1901 restored Queen Anne home now acting as a B&B. It's the same one I lived one block away from while I was a child, to whom I sold Girl Scout cookies to once it was rescued and restored.

A working invite:


I think I may want to convert the flowers to vector art. Not sure how to go about it in an easy way. Thoughts?
Oh yeah, can you tell were geeks?

Wedding:
Since Future SIL is married now, and FI has his full days back, as his last class just ended, it seems our wedding is now back on the front burner. Most everything is taken cared of since we're going with a package at a B&B. His folks still want to "meet with us" and see what our overall plan is (where we'll be living, his job prospects [they actually offered to help with the networking for his job search], and money).

The money bit has me aprehensive, because it's something I was taught you don't discuss with others unless you trust them, and we all know how I feel about that. *SIGH* Oh yeah, it also feels controlling. Maybe it's just the culture, but it really grates a bit.

To be clear, and as far as I know this has nothing to do what "THEIR" part will be in the upcoming nuptials. This is about "our plans" once we're married.

On an up note, FI and his Mom have been mending fences of sorts and I can see and feel it a bit every time I am around them. Ever the optomist, aren't I?

So yeah, this is all good on one end, and annoying on the other.

I just want to be happy and I know I am when he's and I are in each other's company.

On my family's side of things, looks like my Aunt will be coming out from Guatemala. I'm so incredibly happy about this I have no words! I have yet to confirm if my Great-Aunt will be here as well.

The only things we have left to do are:
Finish the invites and other stationary
Settle on a photographer
Find a florist
Taste and decide on the cake
And a few more odds and ends... I think

The wedding list is going to get bigger I fear, but I think we'll manage.

As to more personal things:

Work is draining me. I think I understand why some places ask for a degree. And as much as it pains me, I'm going to get back on that horse. Psych or Civil Engineering.

I miss my Dad.
I miss that I can't cheaply call my Mom.

Wow, I didn't mean to leave this on such a low note, but there it is.

I can't get to sleep.

I have double big day tomorrow.

There's HP.

Then, there's FSIL wedding. Apparently, being a geek in front of her right next to FI convinced her that "we're made for each other". She cited my absolute love of the wording on the invites that FI came up with (totally geeky and full of Apple references). She said that any other bride wouldn't let that kind of thing fly, but that I was all raves about it.

Heh, wait till she meets the lot of you;)

So yeah, she sees me for who I am. And not what I believe in, the mileage, or the fluff.

As for their Mom, well, he has bigger fish to fry there, and they have nothing to do with me.

The last 6 to 8 months have been hard. Having a death in the family two months ago and my helping my family with the still on-going related issues has been a challenge. It doesn't help that financially I've been paycheck to paycheck and I'm thankful for my family and friends who have been supportive and there for me.

And even though I've been able to keep the lights on, I have a wedding to think about, plan, and oh yeah, pay for.

( Being chaste vs living in sin... )

(So this next section was what got eaten by LJ... MRRRR!)

( Is $6000 enough for a wedding? )

Then there's my Beau's side of things. He's saving what he can. He's in his last semester of school and has just weeks left to get his last classes all done. He's looking into substitute teaching and doing Voice Over work, as he's been told by many a person that he'd do well there. It's a waiting game.

His parents have been supportive to the extent that their daughter's recent announcement of being a bride to be this July has allow them to be. They gave us my Beau a guest list with over 120 couples on it. Told him to pick his nearest and dearest, and just go with that.

I won't pretend to be dumb and see that they are not offering any help in this or making it any easier for us/him in our plans. The only caveat has been when his father gave him (us) advice on having a Non-Mormon ceremony so that we are lawfully wedded first and in a year's time, get Sealed in the Temple. (He seemed to understand best that we were struggling with how to best handle that. I'm just glad his Dad gave him the heads-up!Advise.)

(Note: My FILs are not too keen on me and him, because of me. My age, my weight, and my religious disposition when we started dating. There's more, but that's for starters. I know many other women have this challenge, so I just include it here for a heads up reason.)

( The idea behind or big deal of holding a wedding and reception )
Yes, I know we could postpone things, but again, for my batch of experience, living apart makes things a bit more difficult all around.

Discuss? Advise? Edit: LJ just ate part of my post and I can't figure out where it went. Dang it!. Mrrr!

I have my wedding dress. The uber long post I was working on is marked private and I hope to eventually update it.

Today though, I'm going to show my Brides maids the venue, where I grew up, have lunch with my Mom and then shop for their dresses:D

Yes, lots has happened since I started this blog, and I have loads to update from invitations, to the state of our families!

For now, I'll be just taking notes:)

ldsgroom has been calling me a princess ever since we started dating, and maybe it's because of my upbringing (a bit on the upper crust and proper) or just my high degree of standards, not unlike his own.

So with this in mind, I've been entertaining the idea of a tiara. But mostly because it will add some height to my shortness;)

Now my wonderful friend mariannec has already offered and leant me her own beautiful tiara, which I love, but I have to see if the color will work and if my Mom will object to the pearls. (Pearls are bad luck on your wedding day:p) Just the same, shopping around to see what else there is never hurts, and yes, I will post a picture of the wonderful tiara I have in my possession soon!

For now, I've found a few online that I also like. Ideally I'd like somehting that goes with the whole Fall theme. Then I found this:

A tiara of oak leaves, acorns and hollow acorn cups - Garrad for Duchess of Norfolk 1904

 

Ok, ok, and besides that I love the acorns and oak leaves! Princess? Me? Never!

All this aside, I'm still hesitant, as I'm still unclear if I will be able to wear this into the Temple. It will be incredibly impractical if it's not allowed, imho, as it's one of those things I'd rather my stylist take care of for me. If I have to do it, I'm going to be nervous about messing up anything they have already done at the salon.

We'll see, right?

Oh yeah, I'm still working on my very long post about my dress. It's bought, but what a freaggin journey that has been!

So here's my dress!
I took out the picture, as FI was in danger of seeing it:-O

My Mom got to see it on Saturday and she bought it for me on the spot. I wanted to give the comission to the great ladies out in Lakewood, but sadly, my Mom just doesn't want to be that far from my Dad these days.

I think it made her feel a bit happier doing this. I was really surprised, as I thought, it would take more effort and time. I mean she talks to me more than ever now. I'm just happy that I could give her something to be bright about.

I think I found my dress. Both Cathy and Dawna have seen it. Now Stace and the rest of my minions wedding party need to see it:D My Mom gets to see it tomorrow.

Yes, I'm keeping busy while looking for work.

Now, hopefully my Mom will like it enough that she will spring for it completely:D I'm happy that's it's fairly affordable and way under my budget!

More later. Though I am working on a post for my bride journal. Yes, I know, roll your eyes all you want. Just figured I'd keep it separate and all:D

inspired from a post I saw this week on weddingbee.com, I found these votive candle holders at Big Lots (which I will always know as Pic n' Save).

Price? About $2.30 each, with the candle! I got 12 for about $34.

These will serve nicely as center pieces with flower petals and autumn leaves at each table during our wedding reception.

At this rate, I think I will be able to spend the bulk of the Flowers budget on professional flowers for the wedding party!

In other planning news, ldsgroom and I have made some preliminary decisions on the guest book and a direction we want to go on with the stationary and save the date notifications! More on that later:)

To get the spiritual side of this journal addressed I'll give those curious a few words on what found me on the path I'm on now. Well actually, I don't need to do that right now as much as I need to really get off my chest the reason for having this lj and for why I want to document all this. The spiritual post will come later. Maybe;)

I didn't not grow up in the LDS culture, much less have it be a part of my life from a spiritual point of view. I did have a few friends growing up who were LDS, but their activities were so removed from the rest of the mainstream neighborhood activities that it almost looked like a club you had to be a member of just to be included.

Most of my experiences with my Mormon friends were good, though there were a few times I looked with askance at how, what to me looked to be part of the church, did things, for example my brother being told he could not join Boy Scouts, unless he was a member of the church.

In hindsight, I've chalked those things up to the way individual people decide to do things, as they see things ought to be... and sadly, sometimes I think that people will use institutions to hide behind things they don't want to deal with or might be too much work to have to work on.

And a disclaimer on that, I was brought up in a different church, and have asked many a people about their own backgrounds, and it's the common thread that people, not ideas, are what ultimately make actions a reality.

In the end some people just don't choose the right and sadly it shows. For my part, I'll just try to keep that in perspective and not judge people, well coz duh, not my job;) All you can do really is learn from it, move on, and hope that others will eventually "get it".

So all that being said, now you know I was not brought up LDS, which makes for being Sealed and Married a real practical challenge, as I see it, because all the workings of how one goes about doing what one needs to get done is implied and "taught by example" as one grows up in the church. If you're not there to observe said example, then you must gain knowledge some other way.

I won't go into the particulars on this post, but lest just say a Mormon wedding isn't Father of The Bride or My Big Fat Greek Wedding. There's a few more steps to it. It's religious components would be considered my many rather exclusive, something that I'll get to later. And then there's the frugality of it all, which by all accounts I love, but again a challenge if you don't know what to do or who to ask.

And sure, to those of you thinking that I should just go ask my Mother-In-Law to be, well... that's a whole other story. Religion aside, in-laws can be difficult no matter where you pray.

So I'm left with fellow church members, the internet, and my wits.

Next post: Planning outline - The To Do List